Forgotten
by Starr Bryte
Summary: What went through Sailor Saturn's mind as she destroyed the world. Believe none of what you hear, half of what you see and all of what you feel.


_**Note: What was Sailor Saturn thinking as she destroyed the Earth? Takes place during Sailor Moon: Super**_

**(FORGOTTEN)**

_**I am Forgotten**_

_**No one remembers me**_

_**Why should they?**_

_**All they know of me is fear and Silence**_

_**Silence and Darkness**_

_**Darkness and fear**_

_**I am Forgotten**_

_**I am Forbidden**_

_**I am Alone**_

_**Alone**_

_**Such a lonely**_

_**Painful word**_

_**But it speaks**_

_**Truth**_

_**Truth**_

_**How I have loved that word**_

_**But the **_

_**Truth, as I have **_

_**Painfully learned, has many,**_

_**Many**_

_**Sides**_

_**Too**_

_**Many**_

_**Sides**_

_**What is **_

_**Truth to me now?**_

_**Even with **_

_**Truth **_

_**I am Alone**_

_**The word**_

_**Truth used to bring me comfort**_

_**But now it brings me pain**_

_**Unbearable**_

_**Pain**_

_**And**_

_**Loneliness**_

_**Alone**_

_**My thoughts have brought me back into a full circle**_

_**An unending cycle that is my life**_

_**Back to the world that**_

_**I am forced to dwell in**_

_**Back to the word that is now my one true companion**_

_**Alone **_

_**Even the Light turns her bright radience from me and leaves me in this bitter cold**_

_**Alone to sleep as all feeling leaves my body and soul **_

_**Leaving me**_

_**Cold and numb**_

_**I was once feared as a Goddess!**_

_**A Goddess**_

_**A Goddess**_

_**As beautiful and terrible as the dawn**_

_**Treacherous **_

_**as the **_

_**Sea**_

_**Stronger than **_

_**The foundations of the **_

_**Earth**_

_**As gorgeous and horrible as the **_

_**Morning and the **_

_**Night**_

_**Fair as the **_

_**Caldron of the Stars**_

_**Birth place of life**_

_**And the Moons **_

_**And the Suns that shine their glory upon all Creations**_

_**And the snows upon the mountain tops**_

_**As dreadful and wonderous**_

_**As the Storm and the Lightening**_

_**All Hath Loved Me and Despaired!**_

_**ALL HAVE LOVED ME AND DESPAIRED!**_

_**The fear of my voice had reverberated from one corner of the Universe to the other**_

_**But then**_

_**Then**_

_**Then came the force**_

_**The being**_

_**That not even a**_

_**Goddess**_

_**Even an Ex - Goddess could control nor defeat**_

_**The truly Fallen Star**_

_**Chaos**_

_**Mother and**_

_**Father of **_

_**Evil**_

_**Ekthroi**_

"_**The Enemy"**_

_**Nemesis**_

_**Lucifer**_

_**Satan**_

_**Semihaza**_

_**Duma**_

_**Keriel**_

_**Mastema**_

_**Beliar**_

_**Gadreel**_

_**Beelzebub**_

_**Demon**_

_**Devil**_

_**Oni**_

_**Balrog**_

_**Morgoth**_

_**Markel**_

"_**The Darkness"**_

_**Names that now strike fear into the hearts of men and bring blasphemy upon any who utter the name of the greatest evil. But it is only a name and not the true name the darkness would call upon. For they are all man made names and cannot harm you for they are not real… But the one who owns the name is… **_

_**Call**_

_**She **_

_**He**_

_**It**_

_**They**_

_**What you will**_

_**For the safety of my dying**_

_**Power**_

_**Control and**_

_**Sanity**_

_**And for the safety of those whom I hath loved**_

_**And **_

_**Those whom hath loved me**_

_**I was **_

_**Exiled**_

_**Banished from the**_

_**Light**_

_**Forbidden**_

_**Forgotten**_

_**Alone**_

_**So Alone**_

_**So the years pass**_

_**More years**_

_**More centuries then I dare to even try to count**_

_**And I slept**_

_**And I dreamed**_

_**I dreamed of them**_

_**I laughed with them**_

_**I wept with them**_

_**Wept for them**_

"_**Wept for love of them"**_

_**I cherished their loves**_

_**I cursed their hates**_

_**But I could do nothing when**_

_**At**_

_**Last**_

_**At long last**_

_**Prophecy and**_

_**Destiny met**_

_**No**_

_**Not **_

_**Met**_

_**Not**_

_**Met**_

_**COLLIDED**_

_**Collided with such a force that the earth had trembled upon her foundations and I tossed and turned in my uneasy slumber**_

_**But there was nothing**_

_**Nothing**_

_**Nothing I could do when the enemy came back to them**_

_**To finish the unfinished**_

_**To complete the uncompleted**_

_**I could only watch**_

_**A force older than time**_

_**Trapped**_

_**Encaged**_

_**Behind the eyes of a young firefly**_

_**Encaged**_

_**Trapped**_

_**Inside of a broken body with no will of my own**_

_**I could only watch**_

_**Forbidden**_

_**Forgotten**_

_**Alone**_

_**But then...**_

_**Then...**_

_**Sudden Freedom**_

_**Bitter Freedom**_

_**But Freedom all the same**_

_**The clash between the Light and the Darkness...**_

_**(Light and Dark**_

_**White and Black**_

_**Good and Evil**_

_**God and Satan**_

_**Order and Chaos**_

_**All the opposite sides of the same coin**_

_**A reflection of opposition) **_

_**And the truth will set you free**_

_**Ask me no questions**_

_**I'll tell you no lies**_

_**The battle between two violently opposing forces came to a shuddering, violent climax.**_

_**Between the Light and the Darkness...**_

_**The Light was strong**_

_**But the Darkness had an alai**_

_**An alai from within**_

_**The Light was strong**_

_**The Darkness was stronger**_

_**The one they called Mistress had arisen once again from her own Gilded Cage**_

_**The Black Massiah**_

_**My own perverted reflection come to twisted life.**_

_**Life.**_

_**How I have hated it**_

_**How I have loved it**_

_**For Life**_

_**is all and nothing**_

_**Nothing**_

_**And**_

_**All**_

_**She shared my prison**_

_**My cage with me**_

_**And I didn't even know she was there**_

_**Until it was too little**_

_**Too late**_

_**She saw what I saw**_

_**She felt what I felt**_

_**And Slowly**_

_**But surely**_

_**The Mistress**_

_**Broke**_

_**Free**_

_**Dragging me**_

_**My soul**_

_**Along with her**_

_**Into a new cage**_

_**A new horror**_

_**A new sorrow**_

"_**For the most confining cages are the ones we make for ourselves."**_

_**And oh!**_

_**Oh! **_

_**What a cage!**_

_**What a cage I have forged for myself**_

_**A cage of flesh and bone**_

_**Stone and light**_

_**(In this house of stone and light**_

_**I must go there**_

_**To find my soul there**_

_**The house of stone and light)**_

_**This time, instead of watching the war of **_

_**wars**_

"_**It was a **_

_**war to end all**_

_**Wars"**_

_**From the sidelines.**_

_**This time**_

_**Time**_

_**(Time is everything and nothing)**_

_** Time is relative **_

_**I was forced to watch from enemy lines as a Prisoner of War**_

_**Forced to watch as those whom I loved (love) fall (Fell) Before the **_

_**Black Massiah's might.**_

_**For as she is my reflection in physical form, so too did she gain my power…**_

_**But not all…**_

_**Not all…**_

_**Thank heaven…**_

_**If there is a heaven…**_

_**I have never seen it**_

_**For I burn**_

_**Burn in a hell of my own creation**_

_**And though I cried and screamed and fought with all of my might within this new and more horrid nightmare**_

_**Within this cage of abominable**_

_**Unforgivable**_

_**Sin**_

_**This cage of **_

_**Flesh and bone and blood**_

_**No one could hear me**_

_**No one even knew I was there**_

_**But now**_

_**Now**_

_**Now I too am free**_

_**Sudden freedom**_

_**Bitter freedom**_

_**And Oh **_

_**Oh how my heart aches for the one who housed me.**_

_**But now I am free**_

_**Bitter**_

_**Bitter freedom**_

_**My awakening has begun.**_

_**Summoned by the death of one I hold dear.**_

_**One who has forsaken me to the darkness**_

_**Her soul has now fled**_

_**Forsaking them once again to the darkness**_

_**Heaven have mercy upon their souls**_

_**Those whom I loved now look upon me with fear**_

_**They may be (Have once been) Shall be the greatest of Warriors Senshi (Soldiers)**_

_**They may have (Are) Will seen things that would make the bravest man go insane.**_

_**Things that would make any other attempt to tear their eyes out with their bare hands.**_

_**But now**_

_**In their eyes there is a nameless terror**_

_**Worse then the horrors they have faced (Are facing) Shall face **_

_**in the past.**_

_**And many they have faced and triumphed over**_

_**But this terror strikes their hears and freezes their blood with fear.**_

_**For this terror has come from within**_

_**For this terror is no stranger at all**_

_**For this terror is close to them**_

_**This terror is someone they have known since they were born**_

_**This terror**_

_**This terror**_

_**Is**_

_**ME**_

_**Oh how I have longed to hold you all in my arms once again my beloved friends (Sisters)**_

_**How I have longed these many**_

_**Many years**_

_**How I have longed to weep for joy and tell you all how much I have missed you (How much I Miss you)**_

_**How much I love you **_

_**(How much I Loved you)**_

_**But what spills from my lips is very**_

_**Very different.**_

_**Kyrie ileson**_

_**God have mercy upon their souls**_

"_**It does not seem so very long ago since I was last called upon... I am forever to be the uninvited guest..."**_

_**Uninvited guest**_

_**That is all I am now**_

_**An uninvited guest**_

_**I**_

_**I who is one of The First. Born of the Star Cauldron and not of human flesh. **_

_**I who is, was and shall be the sister of Cosmos child of Light and Chaos child of the Dark.**_

_**I who has watched the stars be born**_

_**I who has seen more in the second it takes to blink an eye than most would see in ten thousand (10,000) lifetimes.**_

_**I who was there when these nine beautiful soldiers had been born**_

_**In fact I was the one who had pulled them from their mother's wombs and cut them off from those other Nine beautiful soldiers**_

_**I Had cleaned them **_

_**Had held them**_

_**Had comforted their hurts**_

_**Had dried their tears**_

_**Had loved them **_

_**Oh my beloved friends how my heart aches with sorrow for you.**_

_**My mouth continues to speak the words that my soul flinches to hear.**_

"_**Several coincidences piled up to warp the progress of events... **_

_**...And at some point, history was taken off course. The very fact that my host,"**_

_**My gilded cage**_

_**My home**_

_**Oh how my heart has ached for you**_

_**But now at last you too are free**_

_**Do you even realize?**_

_**Do you even comprehend?**_

_**You must**_

_**You must know that even in death you shall never be forgotten**_

_**Just as I shall never be remembered.**_

_**Never forgotten**_

_**Never remembered**_

_**Rest in peace beloved**_

_**Rest in peace **_

_**Sleep my child and peace attend thee**_

_**All through the night**_

_**Guardian angels I shall send to thee**_

_**All through the night**_

_**Over they spirit gently stealing**_

_**Visions of the Light revealing**_

_**Breathes a pure and holy feeling**_

_**All through the night**_

"_**Who was destined to die in the accident that took her life..."**_

_**How well I remember that day**_

_**You were only three years old then and just beginning to discover the world and its many wonders.**_

_**And for the first time since my imprisonment **_

_**My banishment**_

_**My exile**_

_**I was beginning to take a wary joy in life. **_

_**I was even prepared to live happily within my cage, so long as you kept on laughing in that high, beautiful voice like that of a little bird... **_

_**But it was not to be.**_

_**You found something that should never have been discovered.**_

_**How well I remember that day**_

_**Dias irea**_

_**Dias illa**_

_**Soclus Seclum in favilla**_

_**Dias Irea**_

_**Dias illa**_

_**That day of wrath **_

_**That day**_

_**When judgment is come**_

_**That day of wrath**_

_**That day**_

_**The Pain**_

_**The horror**_

_**The blackness**_

_**The abomination**_

"_**...And began her impossible life as a cyborg...**_

_**...Straining her body and my soul, which would have slept peacfully within her..."**_

_**Peacefully my ASS**_

_**Each seizure that my poor gilded cage was forced to endure**_

_**Each surgery**_

_**Each amputation**_

_**They snipped away bits of her body each day!**_

_**Every part that began to putrify was done away with**_

_**Each convulsion that wracked her too small frame**_

_**Wracked my soul with agony as her young body began to slowy decompose like the corpse it was.**_

_**The corpse is should have been**_

_**She should have DIED that day**_

_**I should have killed her myself instead of allowing her live in such agony…**_

_**Instead of allowing that THING to take her away**_

_**Take her away from me**_

_**But I was foolish**_

_**So foolish**_

_**Living within her heart**_

_**Sleeping and dreaming and happy with her happiness**_

_**Loving her loves**_

_**Hating her hates**_

_**I should have protected her from this nightmare**_

_**But instead I hoped that she would wake up**_

_**That they, my beloved friends, would save her**_

_**Save me**_

_**But I was wrong**_

_**I was foolish**_

_**And so my beloved paid**_

_**Paid with her body**_

_**Paid with her life**_

_**Paid with her soul**_

_**I sorry beloved**_

_**I'm so sorry…**_

_**May god have mercy on her…**_

"_**The fact that this body began to live as a vessel for the Black Massiah that now rests before me..."**_

_**I fight the urge to spat.**_

_**I never even realized that I was not alone in my prison**_

_**I never even realized the danger **_

_**I was too worried about my little firefly.**_

_**I never saw **_

_**The danger**_

_**Until it was too late**_

_**HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO BLIND!**_

_**There were so many things I could have done to prevent this moment!**_

_**But that's the irony isn't it!**_

_**Isn't it!**_

_**How could you ever forgive me?**_

_**How could you ever forgive me for**_

_**this**_

_**Unforgivable sin?**_

"_**The very fact that this vessal's own father's twisted heart called the darkness to this reality of existance... But that was only natural."**_

_**Only natural**_

_**How I have loathed those words**_

_**Only natural**_

_**Only natural that my gilded cage would die at so appalingly young an age**_

_**Only natural that her own father's twisted heart would bring her back**_

_**Back to a bitter, twisted life of unbearable agony.**_

_**Only natural that her body would begin to decompose and fall to bits like the putrefied abomination brought to unnatural life that it was.**_

_**Only natural that her soul would be ripped in two by two powerful, god-like beings fighting for ultimate control**_

_**Only natural that she would die**_

_**Again**_

_**in a war that had nothing to do with her.**_

_**that had everything to do with her**_

_**Only natural.**_

_**My mouth continues to speak the words my poor heart refuses to even comprehend and that my head is just barely beginning to understand.**_

"_**We were drawn here... And the path to another realm was opened here...**_

_**... For this is a chosen, holy land."**_

_**Chosen, holy land**_

_**That's what it all comes down to.**_

_**I know it would be unbearably unfair to say that the Light chose this land when she so obviously did not.**_

_**It was by pure, accidental, bad luck that she just happened to be born here.**_

_**She could have been born on Pluto or the moons of Jupiter for all I know**_

_**For all I care**_

_**Because by then I had already been asleep and my mind was not my own.**_

_**Of course Destiny had a hand in the choosing.**_

_**Of course**_

_**Damn you Destiny**_

_**Damn you for putting me in this wretched**_

_**wretched position**_

_**To forever be scorned**_

_**To forever be feared**_

_**To forever be forgotten**_

_**And forbidden**_

_**And Alone**_

"_**The fact that all this has gathered here...**_

_**...And that all has commenced it's decent into destruction..."**_

_**Destruction**_

_**Omega**_

_**Armegeddon**_

_**Doom's Day**_

_**Dies Irea**_

_**Judgment Day**_

_**D-Day**_

_**The End**_

_**The End of All Things**_

_**Call it what you will.**_

_**The day where all shall be laid to waste and returned unto the nothing from **_

_**whence it came.**_

"_**For dust we are**_

_**And unto Dust shall we return."**_

_**There is a reason why I am forever to be the one Forbiddon**_

_**The one Forgotten**_

_**The one Scorned**_

_**The one feared**_

_**The one Alone**_

_**There is a reason**_

"_**...Was all predestined..." **_

_**Predestined**_

_**Another word I hate**_

_**It was predestined that I was to be born the way I am**_

_**It was predestined that I was to be Forbidden**_

_**Forgotten**_

_**Alone**_

_**It was predestined that my gilded cage was to die**_

_**Now She**_

_**As am I**_

_**Is free**_

_**But for how long?**_

_**How long is anyone truly free?**_

"_**Freedom is not free"**_

"_**The price of freedom isn't cheap"**_

"_**There must be a certain amount of sacrifice needed to maintain a front of happiness."**_

_**For the coin of all freedom is in the blood of the innocent**_

_**My Gilded Cage**_

_**But even when she paid the price and was at last 'Free'**_

_**She remained behind**_

_**To save a treasure greater than herself.**_

_**The souls of my beloved**_

_**She protected them even when all seemed lost.**_

_**Protected them with all of her failing strength**_

_**She questioned her strength.**_

"_**I am dead, my body is gone**_

_**I'm now little more than a ghost**_

_**Why do I linger?**_

_**My life is gone**_

_**There is nothing left for me here**_

_**But where is this strength**_

_**This power**_

_**Coming from?**_

_**ME?**_

_**Was I ever really this strong?**_

_**I'll save you**_

_**I will never let such pure, beautiful souls fall into such utter darkness as mine has**_

_**With this strength I have at last found**_

_**I'll save you**_

_**I will never let them touch such pure and beautiful souls such as these**_

_**These long forsaken treasures**_

_**I WILL PROTECT YOU..."**_

_**Her strangely, strong voice still echoes through my empty soul**_

_**Echoes of a past that shall never be forgotten**_

_**She has nothing left to loose**_

_**She HAD nothing left to loose**_

_**Just as I have nothing left to loose**_

_**Except this wretched life**_

_**Nothing left to loose**_

_**Nothing more to gain**_

_**And yet once more the Light calls upon my strength.**_

_**When there is no hope**_

_**WHY DO THEY FEAR ME SO!**_

_**This dark guardian angel has been watching over them for time untold!**_

_**MY ONLY STRENGTH IS HOPE!**_

'_**The Darkest hour is the hour before dawn.'**_

_**I was to make sure that the light**_

_**The dawn actually had a chance to break free**_

_**I was the one who would save them from this despair!**_

_**But alas**_

_**They have forgotten**_

'_**Time waits for no one'**_

_**Time changes everyone**_

_**MY GOD**_

_**MY GOD**_

_**WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?**_

_**What was that poem my gilded cage had once read? **_

'_**And there shalt he return unto the vile dust from whence he sprung**_

_**Unwept...**_

_**Unhonored...**_

_**And **_

_**Unsung...'**_

_**That's me**_

_**I am the forbidden one**_

_**The Fallen Starr**_

_**The angel shot from heaven**_

_**The one condemned to sleep forever in eternal damnation.**_

_**The ultimate secret**_

_**Destructive weapon**_

_**A weapon of mass destruction. **_

_**Never to know the light**_

'_**For light without darkness is not light.'**_

_**I should hate them**_

_**I should hate them**_

_**for what they've done to me**_

_**What they've made me**_

_**I should hate her**_

_**Hate her**_

_**for pitiying me**_

_**Hate her**_

_**for putting me in this wretched position**_

_**But I cannot**_

_**They are my only loves**_

_**These ignorant fools who shun me for who I am**_

_**For what I am**_

_**But I hate them not**_

_**I harm them not**_

_**FORGIVE THEM MY LORD**_

_**FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO**_

'_**For they know not what they do.'**_

_**I am the one condemned**_

_**The one damned**_

'_**Damned for all time.'**_

'_**And though I walketh through the valley of death and despair**_

_**I feareth not the darkness...'**_

_**For the darkness is what I am**_

_**I am Shadow**_

_**The shadow within the light**_

_**Once upon a time**_

_**Once upon a time and so long ago that even the oldest of the stars have trouble remembering,**_

_**I was once a Goddess**_

_**A Goddess of Destruction**_

_**A Deity of Silence**_

'_**I am the journeyer from the valley of death'**_

_**I am forgotten**_

_**I am alone**_

_**Those who loved me have long since forgotten me**_

_**Except one**_

_**But she cannot reach me**_

_**No matter how hard she would try**_

_**I would lock myself away from her**_

_**To protect her**_

_**From what?**_

_**From myself**_

_**From herself**_

_**My sister**_

_**My beloved**_

_**How she has wept for me**_

_**Tried to save me**_

_**But I could not be saved**_

_**Would not be saved**_

_**Now I am far away**_

_**Where no one can find me**_

_**Where no one can reach me**_

_**Not even she**_

_**My beloved**_

_**My sister**_

_**Where am I ?**_

_**Sometimes even I wonder**_

_**I am on a world,**_

_**A star,**_

_**That is slowly being ripped apart at the seams.**_

_**I am alone**_

_**Alone and forgotten**_

_**Who am I ?**_

_**Sometimes even I wonder**_

'_**I wonder**_

_**I wonder**_

_**I wonder**_

_**Oh cannot you see?**_

_**Is there someone out there**_

_**Wondering like me?' **_

'_**I am nobody**_

_**Who are you?**_

_**Are you nobody too?'**_

_**I am forgotten**_

_**No one remembers me**_

_**Why should they?**_

_**I am not even very much to look upon**_

_**If you saw me on the streets you would not even look twice at me**_

_**If you saw me you would think**_

'"_**This is the one that has inspired such fear?"'**_

_**Small and thin**_

_**Bones of a bird and just as fragile**_

_**Skin the white of uncorrupted diamond**_

_**The white of a corpse**_

_**Small hands red with blood**_

_**Blood of the Enemy**_

_**Blood of the innocent**_

_**Blood of my beloved**_

_**Blood of myself**_

_**I have taken so much**_

_**I have given so little**_

_**I may have the body of a child**_

_**But my heart**_

_**My soul**_

_**And my mind are older than time itself**_

_**Himself**_

_**Herself**_

'_**Dead I am the life**_

_**Dig into the skin**_

_**Knuckle crack the bone**_

_**Twenty-one to win**_

_**Dead I am the dog**_

_**Hound of Hell you cry**_

_**Devil on your back**_

_**I can never die'**_

_**I can never die**_

_**Immortal**_

_**A Fallen Star**_

_**An outcast Goddess**_

_**A Senshi**_

_**Damned to sleep until called upon**_

_**Damned to be trapped in this living and still un-living hell.**_

_**The powers of a Goddess**_

_**Powers unmatched by any**_

_**Unmatched by even the Light**_

_**But they have been stifled for these untold eons**_

_**However**_

_**However**_

_**There is one power**_

_**One gift**_

_**One curse**_

_**I have not lost**_

_**Have never lost**_

_**Will never loose**_

_**There is a reason why they fear me**_

_**Why untold terror fills their hearts at the mere mention of my name.**_

_**There is a reason**_

"_**...Now that I have at long last been awakened... I must drop the curtain of Silence."**_

_**Horror crosses their faces**_

_**The faces of my beautiful,**_

_**Beloved friends**_

_**It pains my heart**_

_**But it was all predestined**_

_**My duty set in something harder than stone**_

_**Harder than the hardest substance in exsistence**_

_**My duty**_

_**What is**_

_**My duty?**_

_**We all have one**_

_**Each person is given a certain number of breaths to breathe**_

_**A certain number of tasks to accomplish**_

_**A certain duty to fulfill before death can finally bear the soul away to sleep **_

_**But after one has finished that duty what then?**_

_**A question that cannot be answered that**_

_**Or have I already answered it?**_

_**Sometimes I wonder;**_

_**What is **_

_**My duty?**_

_**Is**_

_**My duty to forever be alone and forgotten?**_

_**Scorned and feared?**_

_**To forever love them**_

_**And protect them **_

_**And eventualy kill them? **_

_**Sometimes I wonder**_

_**My beloved friends cry out to me**_

_**To stop the unstopable**_

_**But my power has already been called upon**_

_**It cannot be stopped**_

_**The only one who could stop the now unstoppable lies dead in the darkness below my feet.**_

_**Only a mericle could save them now**_

_**But in my world there are no mericles**_

_**Mericles do not exist**_

_**Never did exist**_

_**More's the pity sometimes I think**_

_**More's the pity**_

_**My power appears in physical form around my body**_

_**Steel ribbons of deadly spledure that will rip my body and this word apart.**_

_**Armegeddon**_

_**Doom's Day**_

_**Dies Irae**_

_**The End**_

_**My voice rises in a call**_

_**A cry that echoes above the howling wind and the shouts of my beloved friends**_

_**Words that are pulled from my chest**_

_**Torn from my throat**_

_**Ripped from my mouth**_

"_**Now return unto nothing and bring me an end to this world!"**_

'_**For dust we are**_

_**And to dust shall we return.'**_

'_**And though I walketh through the valley of death**_

_**I feareth not the darkness'**_

_**For the Darkness is who I am**_

_**For the darkness is what I am**_

_**I am like the bird in the Gilded Cage**_

_**Never to know freedom**_

_**I am forgotten**_

_**No one remembers me**_

_**Why should they?**_

_**There is a reason why they fear me**_

_**A**_

_**Terrible**_

_**Terrible**_

_**Reason**_

_**But I was the one who would save them!**_

_**Why do they fear me?**_

_**Sometimes I wonder why**_

_**Why**_

_**WHY**_

_**WHY?**_

_**WHY!**_

_**WHY!**_

_**I'm not even very much to look upon**_

_**A simple firefly**_

_**Scrawny**_

_**Puny**_

_**Exiled**_

_**Alone**_

_**Forgotten**_

_**My cage was teased unmercifully for her looks**_

_**For the way she was**_

'_**You never talk!'**_

'_**Emotionless'**_

'_**Stuck up!'**_

'_**Freak!'**_

'_**Freak!'**_

'_**FREAK!'**_

_**Teased because she was different**_

_**Because of me**_

_**There was one thing though that set her apart from all those other people**_

_**Those pathetic **_

_**Weak**_

_**Disgusting creatures known as humans…**_

_**HUMANS…**_

_**They think they are soooo wonderful**_

_**They talk about equality and rights and "Justice"**_

_**What do they know?**_

_**Nothing**_

_**They talk about how great they are while slicing themselves with a knife**_

_**They, who speak of equality made my Firefly feel dejected and lost and alone**_

_**DAMN THEM!**_

_**Her hates are my hates so damn them!**_

_**DAMN THEM STRAIGHT TO THE ABYSS!**_

_**But…**_

_**If I damn them, the people I was sent to protect…**_

_**Where will that leave me?**_

_**The Light was given a human body…**_

_**Would I damn her?**_

_**Even after all she has done for me?**_

_**No**_

_**Never**_

_**I shudder at the thought!**_

_**These humans…**_

_**So confusing**_

_**They shun one moment and comfort the next…**_

_**My Firefly is human**_

_**Would I damn her to the abyss?**_

_**No never…**_

_**They fear what they do not understand**_

_**When they look into her eyes they become frightened by what they see**_

_**Pools of violent deep as eternity**_

_**Her eyes**_

_**My eyes**_

_**Oh my eyes!**_

_**They brought fear when they looked upon the world!**_

_**Eyes that saw through simple barriers like flesh**_

_**Eyes that saw straight into the soul**_

_**Prehaps that is why she was teased**_

_**Why she was feared**_

_**Because she was special**_

_**Because she was me**_

_**I am no mere mortal who looks upon death with fear!**_

_**I EXAULT IN IT!**_

_**Mine eyes are dark hallways**_

_**Hallways that lead straight into the**_

_**very pits of what mortals call hell.**_

_**My beloved know this**_

_**Remember this**_

_**This**_

_**This**_

_**This is why they fear me**_

_**I am the light's dark side**_

_**I am the shadow the light casts**_

_**I am Grey**_

_**I stand between the candle and the star**_

_**I am Grey**_

_**I stand between the Shadow and the Light**_

_**I am the thing**_

_**The thing**_

_**The thing my beloved friends don't even want to admit exists**_

_**That is why they fear me**_

_**Becaus I am them**_

_**I am half order**_

_**Half chaos**_

_**Half life**_

_**Half death**_

_**Half light**_

_**Half darkness**_

_**Half good**_

_**Half evil**_

_**This is why they avoid my eyes**_

_**Eyes as dark as midnight and filled with a knowledge only a goddess could know**_

_**Only a **_

_**goddess could understand**_

_**Eyes that have seen sights **_

_**only a goddess could comprehend**_

_**Soul deeper then the deepest sea**_

_**And darker than the farthest reaches of space**_

_**The farthest reaches of this very COSMOS**_

_**My beloved call out to me**_

_**They do not want to die**_

_**But they should know**_

_**Death is not a thing to fear**_

_**How I crave death's embrace!**_

_**To finally say**_

"_**It is finished"**_

_**And sleep the eternal sleep and never awaken**_

_**But they love the life they live**_

_**What right have I to take it away?**_

_**My heart aches**_

_**Aches for them**_

_**But this is the only way to purify a world so badly shrouded in darkness**_

_**My voice is emotionless**_

_**Cold and still as a winter's lake**_

_**But below the surface lies a whirlpool of emotion as I struggle against the tears that I no longer have the**_

_**Strength to**_

_**cry**_

_**No longer have the will to cry**_

_**They all think I am cold and emotionless**_

_**How I wish that were true**_

_**Which is why I long for death all the more**_

_**I would never have to FEEL again**_

_**Never have to hurt again**_

_**Never have to cry again**_

_**To never be numb again**_

_**To just have that absence would be true peace**_

_**Peace**_

_**A word**_

_**A fairy tale**_

_**I wish I could believe in that fair tale**_

_**Just once more**_

_**My beloved believe in it**_

_**They think that peace will come**_

_**Someday**_

_**How I wish that were true**_

_**But now I shall save them from that pain and bring to them true peace**_

_**A peace they never really had to fight for**_

_**The peace of Death**_

_**I feel my life**_

_**My abominable **_

_**life being sucked out of me**_

_**It feels as if a great, puling leech has attached itself to my heart**_

_**I embrace that feeling**_

_**The feeling of death**_

_**The feeling of peace**_

_**I embrace death**_

_**For death is now my only companion**_

_**My beloved friends scream their pain**_

_**And pain envelopes my body as silken smooth and warm as a lovers embrace**_

_**Slowly I close my eyes to the chaos around me**_

_**I close my ears to the cries of my beloved as they writhe in the most ultimate and intimate of agonies**_

_**I close my mind to the knowledge of what I must now do**_

_**What I have already done**_

_**I close my heart to the pain of that knowledge**_

_**Knowledge that **_

_**My beloved friends**_

_**My beloved sisters are**_

_**friends no longer**_

_**Are sisters no longer**_

_**Because of what I am**_

_**Because of who I am**_

_**I am silence**_

_**I am shadow**_

_**I am death**_

_**I am peace**_

_**I am who and what **_

_**I am**_

_**I am what and who **_

_**I am**_

_**I am me**_

_**I am...**_

_**I **_

_**Just**_

_**AM**_

_**I can no longer deny it**_

_**In a way it's a releif**_

_**A great burden has been lifted from my shoulders**_

_**I no longer have to deny that part of myself**_

_**I no longer **_

_**CAN deny that part of myself**_

_**The self that was once a feared and **_

_**worshipped and **_

_**revered goddess**_

_**I am one of the beautiful Warriors**_

_**Soldiers of the Light**_

_**Peace can at last fall upon me**_

_**For the sins of my many**_

_**Many lifetimes have at last been lifted**_

_**The sin of my birth and my life are being erased**_

_**As if I never existed**_

_**Just as I wanted**_

_**For if there is no one to remember me**_

_**Would they really forget?**_

_**The wind sings to me the soft lullaby of the stars as I at last fall into the deepest and most **_

_**blessed of slumbers**_

_**The screams of my beloved can no longer be heard**_

_**A releif and terrible **_

_**pity**_

_**Do they understand?**_

_**Do they comprehend what wonderous thing I have done?**_

_**I saved their souls.**_

_**I saved them**_

_**But they will never even know.**_

'_**The choice was mine**_

_**And mine completely**_

_**I could have any prize that I desired**_

_**I could burn with the passion of the brightest fire**_

_**Or else**_

_**Or else **_

_**I could choose time**_

_**Oh my daughter**_

_**Oh my son**_

_**Please understand what I have done"**_

_**Could you ever understand what I have done?**_

_**Pain**_

_**I can't breathe**_

_**I **_

_**Can't**_

_**Move**_

_**I**_

_**Can't**_

_**Think**_

_**This familiar crushing sensation in my chest**_

_**My mind becomes incoherent as my soul becomes pure**_

"_**Man, there is your mother**_

_**Woman, there is your son**_

_**I thirst**_

_**It is finished"**_

_**It is finished...**_

_**I can almost hear my soul laughing**_

_**It is a familiar sound**_

_**The sound my little firefly used to make when she was happy**_

_**Oh Hotaru.**_

_**I pray we meet again**_

_**Wait.**_

_**Wait. **_

_**What am I saying?**_

_**Hotaru is me.**_

_**I am Hotaru**_

_**Two souls separated by death and chaos**_

_**Two sides of the same coin**_

_**Now we are one**_

_**Now we are one!**_

_**What a fool I have been!**_

_**Oh Hotaru**_

_**Hotaru**_

_**Forgive my foolishness**_

_**For you have never left my side**_

_**A light shines before me**_

_**What light is this?**_

_**Beautiful**_

_**Mabye now we can start over again**_

_**For is'nt that the way of the light?**_

_**Second chances (Third? Fourth? It has been so long I have lost count.)**_

_**But a small part of my heart shall forever remain sad**_

_**Because my beloved tried to turn away from the part of me which shall forever remain a part of themselves**_

_**A part that should always be remembered.**_

_**That bitterness shall always remain there**_

_**The bitterness that shall always be remembered**_

_**But I know that **_

_**The bitterness shall fade and become simply **_

_**bittersweet when I am at last returned into the arms of my beloved**_

_**I hope that my next life shall be a better and brighter one than my last**_

_**And when I at last peer into my mirror what shall my eyes see?**_

_**Whose **_

_**eyes shall at last meet mine?**_

_**Darker than midnight**_

_**Deeper than the sea**_

_**But**_

_**Now**_

_**They**_

_**Have**_

_**Forgotten**_

_**ME.**_


End file.
